Welcome to In Conversations About Family Violence – You Do Not Have To Put Up With It

DFV Lawyers is proud to launch “In Conversations About Family Violence – You Do Not Have To Put Up With It,” a six-part podcast series hosted by Ms Carmella Acciarito, Founder and Principal Domestic & Family Violence Lawyer.

You deserve safety, respect, and peace.

That’s the heart of our new podcast series, In Conversations About Family Violence– You Do Not Have To Put Up With It, hosted by Ms Carmella Acciarito, Principal Lawyer and Founder of DFV Lawyers.

This series is designed to inform, empower, and support anyone affected by family violence — as well as the professionals and community members who walk alongside them.

Through six thoughtful episodes, Carmella breaks down the realities of family violence in Australia, the legal protections available, and the vital role of police, courts, and support services.

Episode 1

S2 Ep 1- Client experiences and challenges when dealing with family violence: Maggie’s Story of Survival, Safety and Rebuilding

In this powerful opening episode of Series Two of
You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Ms Carmella Acciarito from DFVLawyers speaks with “Maggie,” a former client and family violence survivor, about the hidden realities of coercive control, emotional abuse, isolation, manipulation and the long road to recovery.

Maggie shares how a relationship that appeared supportive at first gradually eroded her independence, confidence and sense of self. She discusses the early warning signs she now recognises, the impact of being minimised or misunderstood by others, and the emotional toll of navigating police, court and legal processes after separation.

This conversation also explores what safety, freedom and healing can look like after family violence. Maggie speaks honestly about trauma, support services, therapy, rebuilding routines, the role of trusted friends, and the importance of listening to your gut when something does not feel right.

Her story is confronting, courageous and deeply important. It highlights that domestic and family violence is not always physical, and that coercive control can be invisible to the outside world while profoundly damaging to the person experiencing it.

For anyone living with fear, control or isolation, this episode is a reminder: you are not alone, help is available, and you do not have to put up with it.

For more information, visit
https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/carmella-acciarito/

Episode URL: https://podcast.show/inconversationsaboutfamily/episode/153966566/

 

Episode 3

S2 Ep 3 – When Men Experience Family Violence: Gary’s Story of Being Unheard, Misidentified and Finding Support

In this confronting episode of You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Ms Carmella from DFV Lawyers speaks with “Gary”, a former client who shares his experience as a male survivor of family violence.

Gary describes how conflict in his relationship escalated into intimidation, objects being thrown, fear, emotional distress and a growing sense that he could
not safely remain in his own home. He also speaks candidly about the shame and disbelief many men can experience when trying to disclose abuse, particularly when others struggle to recognise that family violence can affect men as well as women.

This conversation explores the difficult realities of male survivor experiences, including humiliation, isolation, fear of not being believed, concern about
being seen as the problem, and the challenge of managing anger without escalating the situation. Gary also reflects on the legal process, police involvement, the importance of being properly heard, and the need for frontline responders and practitioners to recognise family violence without assumptions or unconscious bias.

The episode also examines recovery, accountability, emotional regulation and the importance of seeking professional support. Gary’s story highlights that family violence does not have a single face. It can happen to women, men, children, parents and older people, and every situation deserves to be taken seriously.

For anyone feeling overwhelmed, unheard or misunderstood, Gary’s message is clear: you are not alone, support exists, and there are safe ways to seek help without escalating conflict.

For more information, visit
https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/carmella-acciarito/

Episode URL:

https://podcast.show/inconversationsaboutfamily/episode/153966584/

 

Episode 5

S2 Ep 5 – Concluding Series 2 Client Experiences and their challenges, the Hidden Harm of Systems Abuse in Family Violence Matters

In this concluding episode of Series Two of You Don’t Have to Put Up With It, Ms Carmella of DFV Lawyers reflects on the powerful client experiences shared throughout the series and the broader challenges people face when navigating domestic and family violence matters in Victoria.

Across the series, listeners heard from both applicants and a respondent about coercive control, manipulation, emotional abuse, intimidation, fear, isolation,
system navigation and the lasting personal impact of family violence. These stories were confronting, deeply important and a reminder that family violence matters are complex, human and often misunderstood.

This final episode also examines a difficult but important issue: the misuse and weaponisation of intervention orders. Ms Carmella discusses how intervention
orders are designed to protect people from violence, not to be used strategically in family law disputes, property disputes, visa disputes or as a tactic to remove a partner from the home.

The episode highlights that when intervention orders are deliberately misused, the harm extends beyond the individuals involved. It can become a form of systems abuse, undermining the purpose of the family violence framework and damaging community trust in protections designed for those genuinely at risk.

This is essential listening for professionals, advocates, community members and anyone seeking a more balanced understanding of family violence, intervention
orders and the importance of using legal protections properly.

For more information, visit
https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/carmella-acciarito/

Episode URL:

https://podcast.show/inconversationsaboutfamily/episode/153966776/

 

Episode 2

S2 Ep 2 – Client experiences and challenges when dealing with family violence, Rebecca’s lived experiences as a victim survivor and as an Applicant.

In this powerful episode of You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Miss Carmella from DFVLawyers speaks with “Rebecca,” a family violence survivor who shares her lived experience of coercive control, emotional abuse, financial dependence, isolation and rebuilding life after separation.

Rebecca describes how she went from being independent, confident and professionally capable to feeling isolated, anxious and trapped inside a relationship where her movements, money, friendships and choices were increasingly controlled. Although there was no physical violence, she explains how the emotional and psychological abuse left deep scars, especially when threats involving her children were used as leverage.

The conversation explores the often-invisible nature of domestic and family violence, including financial control, intimidation, silent treatment, withdrawal of affection, monitoring, social isolation and the way survivors can doubt their own reality when the abuse is not physical.

Rebecca also speaks about navigating police, court, and support systems; the fear of seeking help; the challenge of starting again, financially and emotionally; and the importance of finding the right support. Her story is a reminder that family violence is not defined only by bruises or physical assault. Coercive control can be just as damaging, and recognising the warning signs early can be life-changing.

For anyone who feels trapped, isolated, afraid or unsure whether what they are experiencing “counts” as family violence, Rebecca’s message is clear: trust your instincts, speak to someone outside the situation, and know that you do not have to put up with it.

Episode URL:

https://podcast.show/inconversationsaboutfamily/episode/153966579/

 

Episode 4

S2 Ep 4 – Weaponising Intervention Orders: When Protection Orders Become Systems Abuse

In this important episode of You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Ms Carmella from DFV Lawyers examines a difficult and often uncomfortable issue within the family violence system: the weaponisation of intervention orders.

Intervention orders exist to protect adults and children from family violence, reduce further harm, and promote accountability for those who use violence. But
in some cases, these orders are misused deliberately, strategically and harmfully for reasons unrelated to safety.

Carmella discusses how intervention order applications can be weaponised in family law disputes, property disputes, immigration matters, parenting conflicts
and attempts to remove a partner from the home. Drawing on de-identified case examples, this episode explores how misuse can unfold, how it can backfire, and how courts, Victoria Police and the broader system may respond when the truth becomes clear.

The episode also considers the wider impact of false, exaggerated or strategically motivated applications. When intervention orders are misused, the harm extends beyond the person targeted. It drains police and court resources, delays urgent matters, increases pressure on an already stretched system, and can place genuine victims at greater risk.

This episode is essential listening for legal professionals, advocates, community members and anyone seeking a more balanced understanding of family violence, intervention orders and systems abuse in Victoria.

For more information, visit
https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/carmella-acciarito/

Episode URL:

https://podcast.show/inconversationsaboutfamily/episode/153967709/

 

Episode 1

Series 1: DFV Lawyers – Who are Melbourne’s First Domestic and Family Violence Law Firm?

Description: In this, the first episode of our six-part series, we take a deep dive into DFV Lawyers, who they are, what they do, and how they can help.

If you are suffering from family or domestic violence issues, this is the first step towards a brighter future.

Episode 2

Series 2: What Is Happening in Australia with the Escalation of Domestic and Family Violence?

Description:Australia has seen a significant rise in people charged with family and domestic violence offences.

Police recorded 97,800 offenders in the 2024–25 financial year, an 8% increase from the previous year — the largest rise since national reporting began.
This equates to 403 offenders per 100,000 people, the highest rate ever recorded.
Around 78% of offenders are men, with most aged between 30 and 39.

These increases may reflect both more incidents and stronger policing, including new laws such as coercive control offences.

 

In this episode, we explore the causal drivers behind the increase in domestic and family violence in Australia.

 

Episode 3

Series 3: Is Domestic and Family Violence Something New to Australia?

Description: Is Domestic and Family Violence Something New in Australia? No. Domestic and family violence is not new — it is centuries old.

Its origins can be traced through English common law, European social norms, and early colonial practices that shaped gender relations in Australia long before modern
legal reforms.

In this episode, we look at:

  • Family Violence Before Colonisation: English Law and the “Right to Chastise”
  • 18th‑Century England: Wife Beating as a Social Norm
  • Early Victorian Colonisation: Importing Patriarchy to Australia
  • Why the Legal System Offered Almost No Protection in the Past
  • Queen Victoria and Early Reform
  • Women’s Rights Movements Begin

For more information, visit https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/

 

Episode 4A

Series 4A: Understanding Family Violence in Victoria – The Legislation and the Courts

Description: Family violence in Victoria is governed by one of the most comprehensive legal frameworks in Australia. The law has evolved significantly over the past four
decades, moving from a narrow understanding of “domestic disputes” to a modern, evidence‑based recognition of patterns of coercive control, psychological abuse, and systemic harm.

In this episode, we explore a clear timeline and explanation of how Victoria’s legislation has developed — and what it means today.

Episode 4B

Part 2: Understanding Family Violence in Victoria – The Legislation and the Courts

In this, the second part of our two-part special on Understanding Family Violence in Victoria – The Legislation and the Courts, we continue our discussion around:

1. Expanded Definition of Family Violence

2. Tackling Misidentification of Victim‑Survivors

3. Stronger Requirements for Police and Courts

4. Minimum Age for Respondents to FVIOs

5. Preventing Young People From “Ageing Out” of Protection

For more information, visit https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au

Episode 5

Tips for Understanding and Responding to Family Violence in Victoria

Description: In this, the fifth part of our series on domestic and family violence, we look at real-world tips for responding to family violence in Victoria.

We cover:

  • Safety priorities
  • Warnings signs
  • Support options
  • Legal protections

The importance of having a plan and much, much more.

For more information, visit https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au

 

Episode 6

The Role of Victoria Police in the handling and reporting of Family Violence

Description: From Family Violence Intervention Orders to support services and everything in between, in this, the final part of our six-part series on domestic and family violence, we provide a clear, simple guide on what happens after Victoria Police attend a family violence incident, and how they continue to support your safety.

For more information, visit https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au

Episode  7

You Do Not Have to Put Up With It: Concluding the Family Violence Conversation

In this concluding episode of the six-part podcast series In Conversations About Family Violence, Miss Carmella, Founder, Director and Principal Family Violence and Criminal Lawyer of DFV Lawyers, reflects on the purpose and impact of this landmark series.

Created as an accessible, evidence-based and trauma-informed resource, the series explores the escalating crisis of domestic and family violence in Victoria, across Australia, and globally. Across the episodes, listeners are guided through the history of family violence, emerging risk factors, legal and system responses, recent reforms, the role of law enforcement, and the serious consequences when systems fail to work together.

This final episode reinforces the central message of the series: no one has to put up with family violence, and no one should have to navigate it alone. It highlights the importance of understanding individual rights, available protections, and clear pathways to safety, support and legal assistance.

Designed for the community, practitioners, students and anyone seeking clarity in this complex area of law, the series reflects DFV Lawyers’ commitment to community education, accessible legal knowledge and trauma-informed advocacy.

For more information visit www.domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au

Episode 8

Coercive Control: The Hidden Violence That Leaves No Visible Marks

In this episode, Miss Carmella, Founder, Director and Principal Family Violence and Criminal Lawyer of DfE Lawyers, introduces the next series of vital conversations about domestic and family violence in Victoria.

This series focuses on coercive control, intimidation, and the hidden forms of violence experienced by men, women and non-binary people from diverse cultural and religious communities in intimate relationships. Featuring four clients who bravely share their lived experiences, the series explores the fear, anguish and panic that can disrupt daily life when safety, wellbeing and autonomy are under threat.

The episode highlights how coercive control can operate through isolation, emotional abuse, surveillance, financial manipulation, threats, intimidation and the gradual erosion of a person’s independence, confidence and identity. While this form of abuse may leave no visible bruises, its psychological and emotional impact can be profound and life-altering.

Through these conversations, the series aims to make the hidden dynamics of abusive relationships more visible, challenge common misconceptions, and provide the community with a deeper, trauma-informed understanding of why coercive control is so dangerous.

At its heart, this episode reinforces a clear message: you do not have to put up with it. You deserve safety, dignity, protection and support.

For more information visit www.domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au

Episode 9

A New Body of Knowledge on Family Violence: Books, Law Reform and the Fight for Safety

In this episode of In Conversations About Family Violence: You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Miss Carmella, Founder and Director of DFV Lawyers, introduces a special podcast series focused on four forthcoming book publications addressing domestic and family violence from legal, educational, practitioner and community perspectives.

The episode outlines four connected works: a comprehensive guide for family violence practitioners, a courtroom-focused case study resource, a community-facing book on coercive control, and a publication examining post-separation danger and system navigation in Victoria.

Together, these books explore major legislative reforms, including the Justice Legislation Amendment, Family Violence, Stalking and Other Measures Act 2026; annotated case studies for students and practitioners; the hidden dynamics of coercive control; and the heightened risks faced by victim-survivors after separation.

This episode also highlights the serious reality of post-separation violence, including the risks of femicide, the challenges of navigating support systems, and the urgent need for responses grounded in safety, law, trauma-informed practice and lived experience.

Drawing on legal practice, courtroom advocacy, peer-reviewed research, coronial findings and more than 200 consultations with clients across metropolitan and regional Victoria, this publication series is presented as a contribution to strengthening the family violence system and empowering practitioners, students, frontline workers, victim-survivors and the wider community.